Forgiveness

Setting yourself free and moving away from the past

Knowing that this is a sensitive topic, I shall tread carefully here.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. And sometimes, we got to learn to forgive the person on a daily basis, because he/she is a family member or used to a good friend of yours. Sometimes, the person we need to forgive is ourselves.

Disclaimer: In no way am I saying what the person did to you was right, or if he/she deserves forgiveness.

This write up, is about you.

As painful as it is: the hurtful words that were said about you, actions that they did which annoys you, the resentment build up over the years because of what they did/did not do - it’s a fact that the person moved on. (Whether in guilt or not)

Forgiveness is not for them, but rather, for your own good. For the well-being of your mind, heart, mental health, and physical health.

We could numb ourselves and tell ourselves that if the person get what he/she deserved, we will forgive them. If the person apologize to us first, we will forgive them.

But what if all these never happens? What if they only realised they were wrong at 99 years old? Sorry to burst your bubble, most of the time, what you wished the person would do, doesn’t happen. Only we, can change the way we think.

Are we going to let their mistakes control our happiness and sanity for the rest of our lives?

If we let our happiness be dependent on their actions, we would have no power and control over our lives. Instead, we would continue to live in the past, relieving their wrongdoings, and feel more and more miserable, not able to move on from what happened, or live in the present.

Someone once told me, the best and wisest thing to do, FOR YOURSELF, is to let it go. *Cues the ‘Let it go’ music from the movie - Frozen.*

We forgive, for our own sake. We forgive, so that we can move on, and set ourselves free. We forgive, so that we can taste happiness again, and have a whole new future ahead.

Unforgiveness and resentment towards a person can lead to you unable to feel joy in your heart, and can even lead to sickness. This can go on for years, sometimes 10-20 years, where you are not able to feel any happiness in your heart.

In the best case scenario, even if the person do finally apologise, you will still not be happy, because you are upset at what they did or did not do.

In order to gain back control of your life, you got to let it go, and slowly move on. This cannot be immediate, and it depends on your choice, the daily choice you choose to create your future.

This came from experience.

When I was younger, due to wanting to please others, I continuously let others step over me and say whatever they like. People has said the nastiest things, such as how I am the worse piece of sh**, how I am stupid, how I will have failed marriages just like the people they know, how I will never amount to anything big, etc.

You can never imagine how someone would say those things, if you know me personally. How could they, when I am just trying my best to make them happy, so nice all the time, (and has done nothing to them)?

But yes, bad things happen to good people, and we do live in a broken down world filled with stress.

There was a time, when I was angry at them. In fact, I was so angry that I was livid. However, thankful that due to my faith, and God’s constant love towards me, it melted away the anger. Slowly, I learnt not to let their words affect me like it did. Love came into my heart, and set me free. Free from them.

There were times, even in the recent years, where I had to cry to God in prayers, because I was so hurt, and ask Him to help me to forgive, even though every inch of me do not want to.

I knew I had to forgive, because unforgiveness will only hurt myself more. (As I learnt from the painful lessons)

However, even when I learnt that, it is still tough to do so. Very very tough.

I learnt to do the right thing on a daily basis: to clear whatever weeds in my heart before I go to sleep every night, so that I don’t get consumed by anger and resentment, which will take away what’s inside of me: good stuffs.

I prayed for God to help me to forgive, and also bless the people that hurt me. I prayed that they too, would be able to experience the love that I felt.

Miraculously, once I do that, and bless them - I feel a bubble of relief, and happiness filled my heart again.

This act released me from any bondage, and stop me from falling deeper into the pit of darkness, and I am able to be joyful and happy daily, just like my name. 😊 #thankGod

We will continue to be offended by others, because people are so different from us, and do things differently from us.

The only one who does things the exact way you want to, is maybe your pet. (or teddy bear because the don’t have a mind of their own. Sorry bear!🐻😅 )

So if we want a life full of happiness, we got to first make a choice, to forgive them, and set yourself free.

Thought of the day: Is there anyone in your life that is stopping you from having a carefree and happy future?

Do the right thing, as tough as it is, because it is for your own good. See you next week, sending over much love from SG😊😍

XoXo,

Mifung :)